it's not you, it's me

Part of my job is coordinating fundraising events. One such event is coming up in November. And in anticipation of this event, I need...widgets, let's say.

Being a good steward of the public trust, I contacted two widget companies to obtain bids. Our organization has done business with both these companies many times. Both good companies, with good people. Good relationships. But as we all know, bidness is bidness. So, after talking to both companies, when Widget Company B came in several hundred dollars under Widget Company A, I told The Boss, who agreed that this was significant enough reason to go with Company B, our history with Company A notwithstanding. I called our contact at Company A, a very sweet guy.

I informed him of our decision. He was chagrined. He sounded really hurt, I mean deeply wounded, that we'd chosen to go with another company. After everything we've been through!

I politely - warmly, even - explained that I knew nothing but wonderful things about Company A. They were wonderful to work with and made a fine widget. However, the difference between the two bids was substantial enough to warrant our giving this particular job to Company B this time. I assured him that in no way did this mean we no longer wished to do business - we would have plenty of need for widgets and such in the future, and we would absolutely keep them in mind.

He continued on. I can't believe it. I just can't believe it. He spoke about his history with The Boss. They went way back! I realize that, I told him, and she speaks highly of you and I have all the respect in the world for that, but you know, these are tough financial times for nonprofits, and this is, after all, a fundraiser, which means we have to try to spend as little money as possible to meet our goals.

We've been doing widgets for y'all since I-don't-know-when. I just...really? You took bids?
I thought I heard his voice crack. He was really taking this hard.

I began to feel like I was breaking up with a boyfriend. It's not you. It's me. You're...great, really! Someday you'll make some girl really, really happy. I stopped short of having a pint of Ben & Jerry's sent over.

He composed himself and asked me what kind of deal Company B was giving us. I told him. He said he would beat it and gave me a lower number. Bless his heart. I felt like the biggest bitch ever. That's why I'm in nonprofits and not mergers and acquisitions.

Emotionally exhausted, I called the sales rep at Company B and thanked her for her estimate. Then I very gently broke up with her.

She actually took it pretty well.